The Preacher

A Preacher was explaining that he must move on to a larger congregation that could pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave.

Joe Smith, who owns several car dealerships in the city, stands up and proclaims, "If the Preacher stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year, and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transport their children!" The congregation sighs in relief, and applauds.

Sam Brown, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, "If the Preacher will stay on here, I'll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!" More sighs and loud applause.

Joe Tavares stands up and says, "If the preacher stays I will provide him with all the wine he wants."

Sadie Jones, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, "If the Preacher stays, I will give him sex!"


There is total silence. The Preacher, blushing, asks her, "Mrs. Jones, whatever possessed you to say that?"

Sadie's 90 year old husband Jake is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replies, "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, 'Screw him!'"

Isn't senility wonderful? Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!!

Simpleman77 wrote:


Isn't senility wonderful? Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth!!

I'm not senile yet, but I do have a problem keeping my mouth shut.

good ol Sadie.

A classic!

That's funny. Part of my ministry at our church is taking care of the 50+ group. They are one of my favorite groups in the whole church. They tell it just the way it is. One day I rode to Wilma's house on my bike (more out of duty than desire). When I got there, the nurse said she was in the bathtub and could I come back at another time. Seeing an opp to get away quickly I said "Sure!" and mounted my bike as quickly as possible. Then the front screen door flew open and a 90 yr old lady dressed only in a towel yelled "You get back here right now!! I'm done with my bath."

Later, she was in the hospital and I went to visit her. I knocked on her hospital door but no one answered. So I thought I could slip in and leave my card with a get well message and not wake her up. Well it turned out she wasn't wearing her hearing aids. As I slipped in, she was sitting boltupright nekkid as a jaybird and getting a sponge bath from a nurse. I stammered and said "I'm SO sorry! I'll come back in a little bit!" and headed for the door. She said "You get back in here! You've seen all this before." I was lost for words and not wanting to be rude, I made it to the window and looked out while they finished their business.

Wilma has been gone for some years to heaven. I look forward to seeing her again soon. Hopefully she'll be fully clothed And I'll be in my right mind.

Psalmist wrote: That's funny

So was yours ...

Good Stuff, thanks guys. --------

Dino......thats funny, gotta love them older Ladies!!!